Personal Sorts

A Poem – How My Depression Turned into A Goober.

When I was a kid, depression would leave me sitting on the floor, staring at a blank wall with tears running down my face.  In college it tried to sell me on taking my own life.   After all, I didn’t care anymore and what would it matter if I checked out?  I just wanted relief and had no idea how to get it.

Thankfully, those days are over.

I believed that with enough therapy, journaling and yoga, I could zap depression forever.  Fast forward several years and thousands of dollars later and I am still grappling with it.

When I accepted that this was going to be a life long project I decided to adopt a mantra –

“If you can’t change it reframe it.”

And shortly after the Goober was born.

I felt powerless over the big D, but I knew that I could live with and/or drop kick the Goober.

Listen, at the end of the day depression is depression.  I mean, even if you put chocolate icing on a styrofoam cake it’s still a styrofoam cake.  There is no conquering this thing.  It doesn’t disappear, magic wands don’t work and there isn’t a cookie cutter powerful enough to bake up a miracle.  However, when I feel a bad day coming on I choose to look at it differently.  Instead of “being depressed” I see it as the Goober paying me a visit.  He won’t be staying for long and I know I can handle it!

I’ve Got A Goober

I’ve got a Goober inside my head

From the time I get up till bed.

Even when I’m asleep

That Goober sits at my feet

Insisting on being my friend.

My Goober it clings to my legs

Even on the brightest of beautiful days.

I kick and I thrust

I do all that I must

But that Goober persists in it’s ways.

Some say your just making him up

No way a Goober could keep you so stuck.

Please believe when I say

That I’ve tried every way

But in my head he’s decided to stay.


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